Day 3 :)

well here I am on day three. Something weird happened last night . Monday I work till  five and then generally go do the food shop. My hubby picks my youngest up from school on a Monday and my eldest gets the bus home. So I got home last night , as normal for a Monday , around half six. I sat with my youngest a bit. I went up to see my eldest who was doing her homework and then put the food away. My hubby had bathed the youngest and both girls had had tea. I then had a shower and made girls supper, thinking I have to get everything done so I can sit down by half seven . My hubby loves to cook so once our youngest daughter is in bed he usually makes our tea. I put my youngest to bed and spent some time with my eldest and was sat downstairs by 19;20pm. Normally I would pour a big glass of wine whilst I waited for tea. But last night I thought I need to change this mindset. I am trying to get everything done so I can sit down and drink wine , but I am not doing that now. So maybe just maybe I could have tea and then have a relaxing bubble bath . My world will not fall apart. Why do I struggle with that in my mind ? Its because I am subconsciously preparing for wine o clock. Now this week that’s ok . As I have chosen the week to give up alcohol as the week I go full time at work ( I have had six years of two days ) . Also on A Tuesday I take my eldest daughter to a club and am there 6-9 . And wed and Thursday this week , my eldest is in a show so I am taking her there and back so it will be tennish I’m in. So last night as I was sat thinking about this I thought its ok this week on a Monday to sit in pjs by half seven and watch crappy TV as I have a busy week. Actually though I don’t think I can do this all the time and think I need to change my routine. I no it sounds ridiculous but changing the routine on an evening is such an obstacle in my mind . This week , and especially as the weekend approaches I am going to work hard to change my evening routine and see if it helps. Lets see if my world collapses around me. With the level of anxiety I feel , it might , but I am hoping I am surprised and my world stays put .

see you on day 4 xx

The sober queen xxxx

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