Today was woke up before my alarm . I had slept amazingly . I must remember how well I sleep when not been drinking alcohol.
I was making a home made tea for the kids at 6am that I could leave ready for their nan. No chicken nuggets and chips for my children , well not at least while I’m on a roll . You see my body is my temple and I want to feed my precious little people and myself and hubby good wholesome food . Put goodness in .
I am by the nature of my personality all or nothing x not just with alcohol but with food too .
Sometimes my children have chicken nuggets and chips followed by a pizza the night after , it depends on where I’m at .
I want perfection . I crave to be the perfect mother . I am either failing miserably ( in my own mind ) or being a huge success . Actually rarely the latter in my own mind .
I am either trying to protect our health by us being super healthy or I’m on self destruct , first glass of wine at 5 pm, chocolate before tea , and taking my unsuspecting tribe with me .
You see I try so hard to hide all this . So bloody hard and it’s exhausting.
I said to my eldest daughter the other day ( she is 13 ) , I am so lucky to have you two girls . Not every mum gets such lovely children . Her reply ,
“Not every child has such s lovely kind and caring mum . We are so lucky too . ” it brought a tear to my eye . So as I strive for perfection and nearly drive myself into the ground with the pressure of that , do my children need perfection?
I’m babbling. I didn’t plan this post just felt a need to write xxxx
Day 4 ❤️