Today has been a struggle . Work was a tough day but on reflection I think it caused me more stress than the situation warranted . So I think one of three things is happening :
1/ alcohol is still coming out of my system . My body is working hard to recover and I’m in withdrawal which is impacting on my emotional well being .
2/ emotions and feelings are heightened as they are not dulled my wine or hangover . So feeling feels strange and uncomfortable but I just need to get used to them . When they feel normal they will be much easier to bear
3/ the wine witch is nagging away in the back of my mind encouraging me to react to minor situations by feeling very stressed and then I have an excuse to drink .
I haven’t drunk . I had a bubble bath , spent some time with my girls . I’m sat having a seedlip and diet tonic watching rubbish soaps . But that’s what I feel like doing , nothing . So I have my book next to me for if I feel like reading and easy watch tv .
I want to get these feelings down as when things get easier I have these posts to look back on . When the wine witch is saying you have done three months and a drink won’t harm , I could look back at what I’ve been through and think , do I really do any to have to do day 1 , 2, 6,7,9 again etc . I felt crap !!!
So today I have felt stressed and tearful but I’ve held it together , engaged in self care and let these bloody awful uncomfortable feelings just be there .
Day 9. Day 9 though and for that I’m proud xxxx