Day 9 – struggle

Today has been a struggle . Work was a tough day but on reflection I think it caused me more stress than the situation warranted . So I think one of three things is happening :

1/ alcohol is still coming out of my system . My body is working hard to recover and I’m in withdrawal which is impacting on my emotional well being .

2/ emotions and feelings are heightened as they are not dulled my wine or hangover . So feeling feels strange and uncomfortable but I just need to get used to them . When they feel normal they will be much easier to bear

3/ the wine witch is nagging away in the back of my mind encouraging me to react to minor situations by feeling very stressed and then I have an excuse to drink .

I haven’t drunk . I had a bubble bath , spent some time with my girls . I’m sat having a seedlip and diet tonic watching rubbish soaps . But that’s what I feel like doing , nothing . So I have my book next to me for if I feel like reading and easy watch tv .

I want to get these feelings down as when things get easier I have these posts to look back on . When the wine witch is saying you have done three months and a drink won’t harm , I could look back at what I’ve been through and think , do I really do any to have to do day 1 , 2, 6,7,9 again etc . I felt crap !!!

So today I have felt stressed and tearful but I’ve held it together , engaged in self care and let these bloody awful uncomfortable feelings just be there .

Day 9. Day 9 though and for that I’m proud xxxx

2 thoughts on “Day 9 – struggle

  1. Day 9! Congratulations! Isn’t it funny how our bodies feel like crap when we STOP putting poison into them. Hang in there. It will pass. And though you maybe can’t feel it yet, there is a tiny little person inside you who is crying for joy that you are doing this, that she will be able to live happy and big and free, whatever that ends up meaning for you and her. In a life with no alcohol poured sizzling on her head. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

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